Bob Ducca’s List of Ailments

(courtesy the great comedian Seth Morris):

  1. Restless leg syndrome
  2. Fibromyalgia
  3. High fiber fibromyalgia
  4. Hot tub foot
  5. Lou Gehrig’s disease
  6. Lou Barlow’s disease
  7. Lucy Liu Flu
  8. Advanced Moist Shin Disorder
  9. Hyper Tolerance to lactose
  10. Urinary tract infection
  11. Urinary 8-Track infection
  12. Trickle nipple
  13. Thick urine syndrome
  14. Cat’s fur cholera
  15. Clogged arteries
  16. Droxy
  17. Dry lip
  18. Intestinal colic
  19. Allergic to indoor toilets
  20. Sufferer of milk leg
  21. Loofah rash
  22. Bone worm
  23. Selective fatigue syndrome
  24. Hepatitis R
  25. Irritable bowel syndrome
  26. Spastic ear discharge
  27. Pubic lice
  28. Amphibial rabies
  29. Anglo-centric sickle cell anemia
  30. Scabies
  31. Rabies
  32. Mickey rooney sugar babies
  33. Tarnished yam symplex
  34. Swollen perineum
  35. Chronic shame disorder
  36. Larval penis
  37. Dirt belly
  38. Parkinson’s disease
  39. Valet parkinson’s disease
  40. Parallel parkinson’s disease
  41. Parker posey pox
  42. Canine derived hip dysplasia
  43. Selective albinism
  44. Scrotal migraines
  45. Prolapsed navel
  46. Puffle knuckle

 

 

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