Dashes, 7.4.18

  1. The word apotheosis in the first sentence of a column about Mexico’s recent elections.
  2. The anodyne sound of thunder and rain against the office windows at midday.
  3. “His grandparents were of Italian descent on his mother’s side, Irish on his father’s.”
  4. The news, at 2:48 PM, that Trump has a wild hair to invade Venezuela.
  5. The discovery of a star in Panama.

Headlines 7.2.18

Seen today:

  1. “Chernobyl Wolves Are Spreading…They Could Carry Radioactive Genes.”
  2. “Rat Breaches ATM in India, Eats $18,000 in Cash.”
  3. “Phillie Phanatic Injures Fan With Hot Dog”
  4. “Texas Man Sentenced to 50 Years for Stealing $1.2 Million in Fajitas”
  5. “Court Rejects Romanian Man’s Claim That He Is Alive”




[EARLIER, IN THE TRAILER]: “This is why we need to build a wall, this Mexican right here. He pees on everything. You watch him. Just watch and see. We took him to his girlfriend’s house earlier. He peed all over her couch. She’s a fuck up too, but not as bad as him. Clearly. But she still likes him, though, so obviously she’s fucked up past the point of any redemption. We put her in the Tank. She was down for eight months. Came out last week, won’t eat anything but cereal. So now Trina says that’s why the girl’s so fucked up so utterly beyond anything that could even be called hope on, like, the best day. But we all know she was way fucked up way before that. Tank just poured gasoline on cocoa puffs.”

[LATER, WITH TIMOFEY]: “Instead of needless to say, it’s needles to say. Instead of sharp dresser, it’s shark dresser. Instead of gun shy, it’s goon shy.” “They bring you in, seduce you, snip your variable strings and sticks.” “You mean they sedate you, like with medicine.” “Seduce, sedate…forever, same thing.” “You mean whatever.”